i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize