i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
