i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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