Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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