so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
