Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
