Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize