My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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