im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
