that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
