Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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