I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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