You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
