after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
