He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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