think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Damn victory sex feels great
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
