I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize