Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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