A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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