so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
