So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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