just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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