Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sext me about skeletons
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
