Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
