i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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