He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
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she told me i tasted like america
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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