The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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