Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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