i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
