i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
