chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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