So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
