haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize