im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
