You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
