I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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