Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
