he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
