i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
