Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
