Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
