You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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