i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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