so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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