No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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