I heard we made out
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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