we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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