I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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