One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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