Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
