quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
