i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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