please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I supernannyed him into submission
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
