Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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