Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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