so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
